There’s a theory that we don’t actually live in “reality”. Rather, we’re all part of a giant computer simulation. We’re not individual humans with lives, histories and feelings, we’re bits of bytes. I have a competing theory. We’re not part of any sort of computer simulation, we’re all characters acting in a movie called “Trumpocalypse Now”. It’s a bigly entertainment, overstuffed with everything, full of sound and fury, signifying – in this case – everything instead of nothing.
Donald Trump, Casting Director
A few days ago, Donald Trump himself proved I’m on to something. He told Tucker Carlson that if someone tried to make a movie about his pal Chinese Ruler-For-Life Xi Jinping, no actor could play him. On the one hand, Trump’s dead wrong as usual.
Donald Trump, Professional Victim
Plenty of people could play Xi – and Trump’s other authoritarian pals, Putin and Kim. Hell, SNL’s current Trump actor – James Austin Johnson – plays Trump even better than Trump does.
On the other hand, Trump’s kinda right. From a historical sense, no one else could play Xi other than Xi. No one can play Kim quite like Kim. His is a special kind of inherited madness. No one else can bring Putin’s blend of blind Russian nationalism, mindless Crusader zeal and stone cold criminal thugishness to the role like Vlad himself does every single day.
David Austin Johnson absolutely captures what’s perversely funny about Trump. He plays Trump’s mental gymnastics (such as they are) to perfection! But, Johnson’s excellent imitation doesn’t get anywhere near “Trump The Traitor” or the very real threat Trump poses to our democracy.
The Rest Of The Cast…
Only Donald Trump himself really does that. Looking around, what actor could outperform Lindsey Graham?
What actor – type cast as a villain – could add anything to Stephen Miller or Kevin McCarthy or Mark Meadows. How about Mitch McConnell? Can any actor truly inhabit Mitch’s particular brand of slimy, racist, southern impediment to democracy?
Who could possibly capture the depths of Bill Barr’s treachery, Jim Jordan’s stupidity or Mike Pence’s sanctimonious spinelessness?
We don’t have to cast “Trumpocalypse Now!” or write it or even produce it. In spite of the majority’s wishes to avoid this movie altogether, its producers continue to keep it in our “theaters”. If we really want to deep six this “entertainment”, we’re going to have to “fire” all the actors ourselves.
Fire them and put them on permanent unemployment somewhere as far away from the cameras as possible. Actually, our goal should be to make Republican lives feel as “Trumpocalypse Now” as the rest of our lives already do.
The process itself of putting Trump and every other Republican pirate in his or her rightful place? Now, THAT will be entertainment!